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[12 04 08] |
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wherever you go, there you are.
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[07 01 08] |
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cori costa, you're nothing short of wonderful.
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[22 12 07] |
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i don't understand why i can't get over the past. not the people in my past, but the events.
i'm mad at myself then i laugh about it. sometimes i need a good cry but i can't not think about it.
it's just so hard to really let myself sit and just think and see how i feel about it all.
i'll start to and then i just tell myself to pull it together and i go on about my day like nothing has ever happened that should affect me negatively.
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[27 10 07] |
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i miss jon and chris.
i'm sleeping at my parents house tonight and spending the night with my girls. holla.
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[04 10 07] |
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Alright here's the deal. it's been 2yrs. since jon died & it's not getting easier. he's been in my dreams for the last 2 months now. and everytime he's about to tell me why he did it, but then everything he says is silenced.
Chris died 5 months ago already & it doesn't even feel like it's been that long. i'm worried about jon and lauren. it's like sinced he passed away, part of them is missing. we've all gotten closer & we're going on a road trip in a couple days & that's awesome. i just wish chris could be going with us. he should be. he was supposed to be one of jon's groomsmen. he was supposed to be lauren's husband. he'd have been a great dad. same with jon, he was supposed to graduate with our class. he was supposed to go to south street, become a photographer, get married, be random, just be able to smile every single day. & i really hope that he does smile everyday.
but after jon & before chris, one of my very close childhood friends zack, my next door neighbor from charlotte died from cancer. he was only 26. he was diagnosed around 14 & he never moped about it. not once. he went sky diving, scuba diving, he volunteered, he laughed all the time, he was just the nicest person you could have ever known.
i'm sure none of that really made sense.. i just needed to get that out somehow.
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[22 09 07] |
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oct.7-14 i am OUT OF HERE! with jon & lauren of course =)
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[22 08 07] |
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me and jon and lauren are all going to charlotte in october and i'm really really realllllyyy excited cause i get to see best friend and stuff so yay.
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[25 07 07] |
i hung out with cori & staci yesterday. =)
jon's cutting the lawn & i'm waiting to go get my paycheck.
i work at wawa now.
play with me?
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[15 07 07] |
i don't care who i make wanna gag but i lovelovelovelove my boyfriendddddd. i'm at his parents with him right now & we're waiting for his sister to get home so that we can have a barbeque extravaganza! he's the besttt. seriously, i'm on a happy high. i'm working again & everything seems like its finally working out.
cool.
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[11 07 07] |
work blows.
i'm tan!
i don't know if anyone reads this anymore. blech.
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[11 07 07] |
work blows.
i'm tan!
i don't know/care if anyone reads this anymore. blech.
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[08 07 07] |
i miss some of the people i hung out with a couple summers ago. i mean, all through highschool you expect to be with these people forever. like, the whole concept of going seperate ways doesn't register. but here i am, almost 2 years out of high school & everything has changed. some shit got better, some shit got worse. whatever.
i'm at my parent's house visiting for a little bit. then jon's picking me up so i can go to bed early to get up at the ass crack of dawn to go to work.
mother fuckerrrr.
on the 4th of july i went to see the fireworks with jon, lauren, kim, & matt. which didn't end well because we had torrential down pour & had to sit through 4 hours of fucking hall & oates.
then they said the fireworks were cancelled. so we walked back to the car.
3 blocks from the car the fireworks went off & we watched them from an abandoned parking lot while hobos got drunk behind us & 50 yr. olds passed joints back and forth to one another.
god bless america.
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[01 07 07] |
- summer is here & i have yet to get to the beach during the day. however, i went the other night & it was ... wonderful :)
- 4th of july is this wednesday. where the hell is summer going so fast this year?
- i desperately want to dye my hair again but it's begging me not to.
- i went shopping with my mom today & got really cute stufffff!
- i'm having a sleepover party the next 2 nights with jon & lauren
- i finally saw the atco ghost recently. talk about a mindfuck.
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[28 06 07] |
it's summer time.
beach party, anyone?
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[18 06 07] |
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i miss the 90s!
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[16 06 07] |
i found a bunch of notes from highschool. i was surprised how many "BFFs" i had. hah--bbbuuulllssshhhiiiit. that's all they were. i know who my real friends are & i love them =)
tuesday me & jon are going to westfield to see my nana & papa's grave & their old house. plus the town is beautiful & i miss visiting there. on the way we're going to do everything we can to find sonic. i just wanna go & eat & drink & be merry. why do they have to make them so impossible to find?
today/tonight is cori's ninja turtle party. "GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!"
anyways.. i hope i get sunburn. that's my goal for today. yes, sunburn. the painful redness that is the true evidence of summer. i want to lay on my back tonight & wince with pain. i really fuckin do. it sounds a little BDSM but i'm not like that. i just like summer.
tomorrow is father's day & again i have to be at my parents house. it's not that i don't love my family i just get kinda urked everytime i come over. i know i shouldn't feel that way, i'm with my mom & dad & stuff but i just get this weird feeling. it's probably just nerves knowing that my parents aren't thrilled about where i live at the moment. but i'm happy where i am. i haven't been so happy in a long time, either. but they'll never go for that.
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[06 06 07] |
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RIP JONATHAN HOGGE
2 yrs.
RIP CHRISTOPHER DAVIDSON
1 month.
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[25 05 07] |
i'm babysitting killian right now.
there's a bug bite on my arm that i got a couple days ago from when i went to the foundations with jon & aaron. it's only getting bigger & more irritated. gross.
jon's 2yr. is really only a matter of days away. how did everything go by so quickly?
chris died only a couple weeks ago. lauren looks like she's doing better, so does jon. i don't know how i feel just yet,
tomorrow i'm going on an outing with the boys. sunday i'm spending time with cori. & monday is the board walk with jon & lauren. =)
this summer calls for multiple road trips & season pass tickets to six flags.
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[17 05 07] |
First of all, RIP CHRIS DAVIDSON. you were supposed to be my brother in law. but you were from the day i met you. everyone misses you so, so much. we always had fun together. me & jon will take care of lauren, don't worry<3
i'm at my parents house. but not for looongggg.
i hung out with cori FINALLY the other day. she's home for the summer & i couldn't be happier.
something tells me the next 3 months are gonna be real nice.
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